Transactions - More Than Meets the Eye

The "Holy Fuck, My Team Sucks" blues are setting in in the WWST - this week has seen a bevy of half-ass motherfuckers scrambling over the scraps of each other in a desperate attempt to try and fashion some scoring out of their trash heap teams. Case in point - not more than 5 minutes after Brian "IR" Westbrook hit the deck during the Steelers game, there were two requests within 3 minutes of each other for Correl Buckhalter. Correll should change his name to Chum.

That fuster cluck was followed by the Rashard Mendenhal and Brian Griese lottery today - three teams laying claim to Captain Fumble-itis ("I got the itis!") with Bess finally winning out on her 1-2 record, and two teams scrapping over Brian "I'm pretty sure I don't have a drinking problem even though I'm a Michigan piece of shit" Griese - again Bess putting her pathetic record on the line to lay claim to another dumpster remnant.

This dance toward desperation looks a lot like Warren Sapp on Dancing With the Stars - a whole lot of ugly trying to look pretty, and just might make it (although I won't be happy until I see the Beyonce dance again). For the benefit of all, here's the rehash on rules for transactions:

1. First 3 transactions are free, after that they're a dollar a piece. The super bowl winner gets all of the proceeds.
2. Friday night at midnight is the last point in time you can get a transaction in for that week. After midnight, the transaction will not be processed until the following week.
3. Transactions are processed as follows: It's pretty much first come, first serve and transactions are processed daily. In the case of two mo's going after the same piece of taint crustie in the same day, the team with the shittier record gets preference (came in Handy for Bess this week). If the teams going after said crustie have the same record, then the person who laid claim to the crustie first would win out. In the extremely unlikely event that the teams would have requested the t-crustie at the exact same time, then the Commish would use the next available tiebreaker, which would be total points for. If THAT were tied, I would just reject both requests and let the mele for the piece of shit ensue until one of the above tiebreakers produced a winner. Trust me, by this time, unless someone dropped LT, you should have given up on this fucker anyway, so what do you care?

That's it, bastards. Live and learn. If this shit's too tough for you, I suggest making a trade for someone who might actually be of value to you. Peace.